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Thursday 27 May 2021

Cautious foxy

 WALT: Create a blog post about our writing for this week

For writing this week, we had to write a story about a photo shown to us. Here's my story...

Rain bouncing off the ground. Bennett parks his car, as well as zipping up his raincoat. Bennett opens the squeaky car door, once again, highly expecting the door to completely plummet. He steps out of the car, glad that he put on his snuggy pants. The brunette man makes sure he has everything, before walking down the soggy bush walk of leaves. 


Bennet is far into the foggy forest, his old guilty experiences come back to him, but it's far too late to check if he locked the car. As he walks down the path, he can hear the waterfall crash into the water down below, even though he is jamming to his playlist. Bennett finally reached his destination, a beautiful, tall waterfall with crystal clear water, shining from the sun above. He stares at the water, wishing he brought his swimming trunks, but due to the freezing weather, he wasn’t as keen. Bennett’s legs start to ache, so therefore, he looks for a log to sit on. Straight away, he decided to sit on a mossy damp log in front of the glistening water, a perfect view to look at. He takes his bag off his back to look for his phone for a photo. After a few minutes of searching, he realises that his phone isn’t in his bag. He searches his pockets, no phone, just some tissues and his keys. He comes to the quick realization that he had left his phone in the car. Not wanting to think that he can’t take the amazing photos he wished for, he searches his bag again, hoping for more luck. He loses hopes, palming his face into his hands, he's disappointed that he had missed this opportunity. He thinks ‘There’s no point of staying to take photos, I might as well just leave’. He listens to that thought, sitting his head up.


Bennett yelps as he sees an adorable red fox sitting there, so pretty, at least 2 metres away from Bennett. The fox startled the brunette so much he fell back onto the soggy leaves, almost hitting his head on the gritty tree behind him. Looking back up at the fox, the brunette is confused by the foxes tilted head and that the fox hadn’t run away yet. Slowly get back up, the fox cautiously backs up from Bennett. The brunette man is suspicious of the confident fox. Grabbing his bags carefully, he knows he needs to run before the fox could do anything. He gets up and starts walking, not letting his eyes off the fox. The fox just sits there, licking its paws, acting like the brunette man isn’t very obviously sneaking away. Once the fox is out of sight, Bennett starts bolting to the car, no time to think of what just happened. When he's on the last turn, he unlocks his car. Swinging the car door open, and throwing his bags in, he finally made it. Locking his door, then turning his car on, he needs to catch his breath before driving off. Putting his head down onto the steering wheel, rethinking of what just happened. He looks back up. Before driving off he feels like he can see something, in the corner of his eyes. He didn’t think that this would be happening, but it is.


Arie’s Feedback: The story was good. I like the use of describing words in your story. 

3 comments:

  1. Kia ora Mia!
    I loved your descriptive words and sentences your writing was amazing and you done the best you could. Kei te pai.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HI Mia, Your writing is amazing and you used good punctuation and your title is really good. You could o explained more at the beginning about what you were writing about.

    Do you enjoy narrative writing?

    ReplyDelete
  3. HI Mia, Your writing is amazing and you used good punctuation and your title is really good. You could o explained more at the beginning about what you were writing about.

    Do you enjoy narrative writing?

    ReplyDelete